Let’s make a little peace with ourselves
By Monika Kuiter
One of these May mornings, brushing my teeth in a spiritual retreat in Italy, I was thinking about the numerous occasions in my life when I had joined a group, an educational training or similar in the hidden hope of love, of belonging; of finally belonging and being loved.
Love – Have you ever wondered about the cup you hold out to the world, to let it be filled with love? Does it look like there is a lid on the cup with tiny holes that are meant to make sure that the right kind of love will come in? The love you can trust, the love that makes you feel right, and the form and the number of the holes ensuring that this love came in the way you thought right, the way you believed you could handle?
Welcome to the club.
Love – What I hear people say when they have had a deep inner encounter with Jesus or God or a supernal instance is that they experienced complete and unconditional love, that they felt enveloped and filled with love divine. And I wonder, isn’t that the love we all search for from the beginning of our existence on earth?
Isn’t that the love a child is searching for in the arms, in the eyes of the mother and the father?
And how touching it is to see a mother and a father give this love, this all-encompassing unconditional love to their child.
Wait a moment! Isn’t this article meant to be about peace?
Yes, it is. And peace is all about love, and about being connected within and without.
If I knew that the “enemy” out here was my right hand, would I hack it off or wish it to go away and never come back? Or would I wonder, take a second and a third look and consider some options.
So, how can we make a little peace with ourselves? How can we make a tiny little step, the tiniest possible and the most important right now. This step can be very different each time you look. The important thing in this moment is to look, and to ask questions:
Are these thoughts, actions and so on, nurtured, filled by or at least in the vicinity of love? Is this email, letter or communication furthering peace? If they are not, can I hold back and write something that is at least not sending out hurt or negativity or similar? If that is not possible, can I hold my response for now and am I willing to be accepting and gentle about this inability with myself?
Peace starts within. Love starts within. And often enough we do not know how to get there, or where to take it from.
That’s the moment when I try to recall moments of acting out of love. In my meditation I ask for help, for an inspiration from my Self, or I ask for grace.
And I take a decision to not do anything, and especially not to speak, or at most only speak in a neutral way, about XYZ — until I can find a little love in my heart.
Looking in your heart center will usually remind you of someone or something you naturally feel love about. They may be human, animal, plant or mineral, it may be music, art or the blue sky – or a simple good meal.
And you might notice there’s nothing too tiny or insignificant to evoke this feeling in you, there is nothing too big, too supernal, too unimaginable to evoke a speck of love in you!
Then, I try to hold this, like a tiny bird in my hand. I hold it to make it feel safe without holding it too tightly and squeezing it. When it feels right, I try to nurture it, offering a variety of nutrients such as a smile, compassion, acceptance…
And when I feel ready, I open my fingers gradually and allow it to grow and shine in its own natural beauty… this love within myself.
I invite you to try it.
The bad news is that this is about you.
The good news is that this is about you.
Not sending out hurt or fear or revenge or similar will be a balm to your soul, to your mind and your feelings and a tiny or not so tiny step on our path to peace.
